You Are Not Your Results

Written by chicceo Published in

You Are Bigger Than Your Results

I'm spending the weekend at Brandon Hawk's YouTraining and after our first day - and a lot of crying - the thing that shook me to the core was this simple sentence: YOU ARE GREATER THAN YOUR RESULTS.

As it sunk in, my head started to spin. "But that's my identity. My results. What I've built. That's who I am. How can that be true?" The tears started to well up in my eyes as this truth hit me like a kiss from a fist. Owwwwwwwww………

How our results become our identity.

We live in a results-based culture that rewards or punishes us based on the results we provide. We are rewarded with money, love, praise, admiration and punished with rejection, isolation, judgement, ridicule. Growing up, the ONLY time we went to McDonald's as a kid, was when report cards came out and only if we got straight A's. Fast food was a very special reward as my parents cooked a meal every single night (which now as an adult I see as a major reward!) We never went "just because." I learned quickly that if I wanted to receive a reward - hot damn I better serve up some tangible results. I became addicted to my activities, to my growing list of accomplishments and the tremendous amount of output I can deliver.

As a little girl and to this day, I've been called a "high-achiever" - valuing hard work above all else. Lucky for me, I truly love what I do, and I truly love to work hard. Here's the rub: I can work hard, but can't base my value on the results of that hard work.

 

Well, what the hell else am I supposed to base it on?

Results are the proof, right? We lose weight as a result of working out, we make money as a result of selling more, we enjoy fresh strawberries as a result of tending a garden. Having results is what shows us that our hard work isn't for not. It's the tangible outcome of what we've invested in. But it's not who we are. Basing your worth on the results you achieve is such a small part of what we can give to the world. We don't build a business to create results, we build businesses to create an impact, to solve a problem - to make ourselves or others FEEL something. If we base our worth on the result of building a new house and a sinkhole swallows it up - does that mean we aren't worthy? Hell no! If our businesses fail, or thrive, does that mean you are a bad or good person? Again, Hell No!

We must uncouple these scenarios so that we can see the truth of our value - and that isn't tied to an outcome of a sales funnel. Or a diet. Or a partnership. Or an investment. Or a speaking gig.

 

Why we need to let it go. 

Basing our self-love or self-worth on the results we create is futile and only creates an atmosphere of needing to achieve more, do more, give more, work more. Work all you like, be all you like, do all you like, achieve all you like - it's going to take A LOT to get me to stop working this hard, and that's ok as long as I know I am much, much greater than my results.

You are much greater than the body you've sculpted. You are much greater than the healthy balance sheet you've created. You are much greater than the ramen noodles you have to eat because you can barely make ends meet. You are much greater than the failed attempt at a relationship. Good or bad, right or wrong - you are much greater than the results you create.

Today, Chic CEO has 60,000 female entrepreneurs subscribed and the overriding theme I hear is "I want to give back" - and that's beautiful. That doesn't come from your results, that comes from your heart. KNOW that in the journey of creating your business, no matter what the result - YOU are greater.

 

I'm on this journey with you,

Stephanie

Comments

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Finally I've found something which helped me. Thank you!

Stephanie, you hit the nail on the head. For so many people in our culture, "You're only as good as your last (fill in the blank)."

It sounds like an amazing conference. I look forward to reading more of your insights.

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on our website. Keep up the good writing.

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Wow that was beautiful 

GAA! Stephanie! I love this so much! I cried. I know what's going on with that? Can this murcury in retrograde thing everyone's talking about just pass already;) 

Firstly, I'd like to mention that I had the amazing opportunity to interview you yesterday for a huge give back project that I'm working on, so thank you for giving to me in that. But I wish I had read this post before then, because I could have gone-off in a whole other direction with you in my questioning... It would have been an hour long interview so you're probably thinking "Oh God thank goodness we did that yesterday";) Your ability to connect through your writing is really powerful. Somehow even though my experience was totally different from yours growing up and I'm not a numbers or results person at all. I could still relate to you completely from how you just explained your your model of the world and relationship with results, numbers, identity and worth. I have a strange experience with these same issues because we do live in such a results oriented world and I'm all about the internal reference point. Sometimes people look at me like I'm crazy for not caring about that stuff. I just live in an abundant world where everything is energy and I get what I give and sometimes that shows up as numbers! and sometimes I need to focus more on the results of my efforts;) Thank for sharing so sweetly your little message around this! 

 

Tia!! It was great being interviewed by you yesterday! Thank you for the sweet message - I'm glad you could relate ;)

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